Hello dear ones 🙂
If you have learned something about my background through my eBooks, interviews or articles, you have noticed that I am not only a Human Design teacher and holistic analyst, but I also do gentle trauma work, and this often accompanies Human Design analyses, as I myself have a very traumatic background (psychological & physical violence, sexual abuse, rape, narcissistic abuse, among others) and I was suicidal 3x in my life and was able to overcome the suicidality thanks to Human Design and trauma work.
In this article, I dedicate myself to how toxic relationships begin so we can recognize them and avoid letting toxic/abusive and narcissistic relationships into our lives!
Here is the article (below as plain text):
Beginning & Red Flags of toxic/narcissistic relationships
Working with people, especially women, who have experienced psychological, physical, and sexual abuse and rape and the damaging consequences – I watched so many times how the “relationship” starts out so “good”. But in most cases, it started already with the abusive behavior that is disguised as “love.” Those relationships started with Love Bombing. Here are the Red Flags of Love Bombing summarized perfectly by Dr. Jaime Zuckerman
- Relationship moves VERY fast
- Soulmate talk early in
- Sharing vulnerabilities quickly to later abuse them
- Excessive admiration, attention & contact
- Lavish gifts/vacations
- Promises of future plans with no following through
- Describes past partners as crazy
And what is not mentioned here is that in this love bombing phase the abuser tends to go fast into an engagement. The abuser has been engaged several times in his life already. Creating all those hormone highs with the Love Bombing that start the addictive cycle that creates the trauma bond in the victim with the abuser.
And after the Love Bombing Cycle, the abuser starts to lie to the victim, even more, twist her reality, gaslights her, isolates her, abuses her psychologically, blames her for his bad/criminal/disrespectful/abusive behavior, and sometimes even abuses her physically, emotionally, and even uses and abuses her sexually or rapes her.
And THEN after the “relationship” ends that was an “abuser-ship” all along, the abused victim will be called the crazy ex or if she is the mother of the abuser’s child the bad/crazy mother or the crazy ex-wife AFTER being abused and used. And the abuser does that to look good and hide his abuse and lies to his friends, family, colleagues, and clients. Using a smear campaign against the abused victim.
And in my personal and professional and experience Strategy and Authority are the way out together with healing the abuse that we experienced.
And dear woman, if you experienced something similar you are not crazy, you were psychologically used and abused.
And I hear you and I see you and no, you are not alone.
And when you meet a man and he calls his ex-partner or ex-wife or the mother of his child crazy, while he does the whole abusive love bombing thing with you, be cautious, sooner or later he will do the same to you because you are just another fly in his web of psychological abuse and that has nothing to do with you.