Have you at times lost yourself in the “Bermuda Triangle of Love”?!

Most people wish to have an intimate loving relationship in their life. Someone who stays with you in good and bad times of your life. Someone with whom you can grow together. Someone with whom you can laugh and with whom you can also be vulnerable and let your guard down. Someone with whom you can experience deep and fulfilling intimacy. Someone with whom you can simply be yourself, with your “imperfections” and with all that cannot be manipulated with Photoshop in the real life, whether it is about your personality or your external appearance.

Yet, many people often live the opposite of all this. They are unhappy, they don’t harmonize with their partner as they have IMAGINED and THOUGHT, and they often painfully lose themselves. So many people share this with me in my sessions with them.

How come that it happens.

To be able to answer this question, before we have to ask another question: What motivates us to enter into any relationship?

Mostly it is a painful emptiness in us. From the Human Design perspective, it is literally, an emptiness (= an open center, an open gate, an open channel) that we try to fill in with another person. Yet as long as the motivation is to fill in this void in us, to enter into a relationship, this relationship is doomed to failure. I will go into 3 aspects of this emptiness in the following article that I have called the “Bermuda Triangle of Love” where we regularly lose ourselves. (If you don’t know yet your Human Design, get here your FREE Human Design Chart!)

A mature and fulfilling love relationship is possible only when we

1.) Begin to love ourselves. Because how can we respect or love another being if we cannot feel both feelings for ourselves?! And

2.) When we develop a deeper understanding of our true self. Then we are actually able to enter into a relationship based on mutual respect, attention, and love, instead of trying to fill our void and waiting for our partner to replace us the perfect mother or a perfect father. Through self-love and self-understanding we will slowly but surely stop losing ourselves in the Bermuda Triangle of Love, but we can really find fulfillment, satisfaction, and love in an intimate relationship.

Below you see a Human Design Chart. Therein I have drawn the Bermuda triangle of Love. Of course there are also other centers, where we lose ourselves, but in this article the following centers are of our primary focus: open G Center, open Splenic Center, open Ego.

Open G Center – Place of Love, Identity and Direction in life

People with an open G Center often feel unloved. And all too often the mind “borrows” all their energy (= the definition in your Design) and tries to do all that is possible to get love finally. These people knock themselves out, chasing for love until they don’t recognize themselves anymore. They don’t live their life according to their genetic Strategy and Authority, but their main motivation is to fill in this endless void, this endless emptiness that works as an insatiable dark hole. They are uncertain in their Identity, don’t really know who they really are, and are constantly searching for Love and Direction in their life. (Here you find more about the torture chamber of the open G Center!)

And in most cases, people with an open G Center, as shown in the chart on the right, want to have a partner(s) in their life who has(ve) a defined G Center. Because initially, it feels so great, and they have a feeling to have FINALLY arrived and to belong to somebody, finally knowing who they are and where they go in life. Halleluja! And the frequency of the defined G Center that the open G Center will get and amplify is quite “delicious”! It tastes like honey! They have an impression like their heart overflows with love because the G Center is not only a center of the Identity and Direction in life but also of LOVE 🙂

But then they often lose themselves because someone with a defined G Center defines their open identity, their direction in life, and even partially their behavior! They feel addicted to these people, to their consistent direction, because it gives them a feeling of security in terms of Identity, Love, and Direction in life. And when these people are no more in their life, then they have an IMPRESSION of losing their Identity, of losing the “Love of their life” and their Direction in life. Yet all this wasn’t even theirs since the beginning; it was only “borrowed”! And the most crucial question is: was this Direction ever correct for them? Or were they simply only “running along”? And was it really “Love” or merely a reflection, a Fata Morgana, and just an addiction? Because when a person with a defined G Center is not close to the person with an open G Center or even leaves them, then the person with the open G Center feel like a drug addict and virtually has a sense as if he/she experiences withdrawal symptoms.

People with an open G Center tend to fall in love often. At least they think they do.  Because what they feel is “only” the defined G Center of another person and then they often “fall in love” with many other people because they want to have that G Center frequency from other people

And there is nothing wrong for someone with an open G Center to have a partner with a defined G Center. The only thing is that the mind shouldn’t decide through the open G, who will be chosen as a partner, but the partner should be chosen by the individual genetic Strategy and Authority.

How do you get out of this addiction? How can you avoid losing yourself in this part of the Bermuda triangle of Love? Get to know your genetic Design and follow your Strategy and Authority. Because it saves your ass so that you don’t end up and get lost in the painful Bermuda triangle of Love! 😉

Open Ego [Center] – Place of the Willpower

People with an open Ego/Heart Center often don’t feel worthy enough. They enormously suffer from a low sense of self-esteem that is usually expressed in love relationships in two extremes: 1.) I have to give very much so that I get recognized and 2.) You have to provide me with quite a lot so that I feel acknowledged in my worth. Yet unfortunately, it is never enough what they get, and they often still feel worthless. They move from not being able to accept love and appreciation: “I don’t deserve it” to demanding love and appreciation: “I am entitled to have it!” For people with an open Ego Center, it is often tough to find a measure for value, both in relationships and in their job. And the advertising industry makes billions off of the people who have an open wounded Ego center. It proposes them all the possible and impossible to lift their worth and the implied promise that people thereby FINALLY will find their worth, recognition, and love.

People with an open Ego Center often define themselves through objects of value: “If I only had this car, iPhone, Levis Jeans or Marco Polo Shirt, etc. THEN the women will go crazy about me.” Or: “When I finally lose weight, so that I fit into these Jeans when my belly gets flat enough, my skin gets pure enough, my breast gets big enough, etc. THEN I’ll get a man”.

Another typical example for an open Heart Center is men and women who always try to save their partner, to prove themselves that they had a value, so that they FINALLY get love and recognition, and thereby receive supposed self-esteem that they want to have so badly. It becomes their primary motivation in life, until they totally lose themselves and, in the end, don’t get what they wanted: True love and genuine appreciation.

The open Ego/Heart Center often feels very attracted to people with a defined Ego Center. On the one hand, they find a defined Ego fascinating because, in the presence of a defined Ego, they get a feeling of worthiness and power. They THINK that they finally receive an inner and outer value and a confirmation that they have always wanted. They THINK that they finally have the long-sought willpower and can achieve anything! At the same time, the defined Ego also fears people with an open Ego, and often feel threatened and not acknowledged in their reduced value in their mind. Thus they sometimes try to “overpower” the defined Ego not to feel threatened anymore. The open Ego starts a ton of power games!

The open Ego is like a black hole: no matter how often they are told that they are worthy and it is also shown to them, – it seems to disappear in the vastness of this “black hole”. Sometimes it doesn’t even seem to be noticed. The open Ego is a center that is at its most vulnerable and difficult to get to decondition.

How do you get out of this addiction? How can you avoid losing yourself in this part of the Bermuda triangle of Love? Get to know your genetic Design and follow your Strategy and Authority. Because it saves your ass so that you don’t end up and get lost in the painful Bermuda triangle of Love! 😉

Open Spleen – Place of Intuition

People with an open Splenic Center hold on to things that are not good for them. It is virtually an addiction. Whether it is a bar of chocolate, a daily glass of wine, a cigarette, OR even or time mainly another person. Mostly it is a person with a defined Splenic Center. Their object of addiction gives them a defined sense of security and comfort. A typical and also extreme example of dynamics and addiction of an open Splenic Center with a defined Splenic Center would be the following: a woman who gets beaten a lot by her drunk husband; but she can’t leave him and even protects him and says something like: “But when he doesn’t drink, he is quite good to me.” She doesn’t want to let go of her addiction, because even if it is often painful for her, the defined Spleen of her husband gives her a sense of security. It creates a kind of addicting Hate-Love relationship.

The Splenic Center is our oldest survival mechanism. It is a place of instincts and intuition. People with an open Spleen often have existential fears. Fear of not being secure enough. Fear for their existence. They also cling to everything that gives them security, whether it is an insurance, a partner with a defined Spleen, the poor diet that gives them a supposed feeling of happiness (by this I mean basically the whole rubbish in the supermarket that doesn’t nourish you because it contains no real nutrients, but only chemicals – but it still gives them a good feeling), the stressful job that drains them, BUT with which they at least ensure their existence. And it goes as far as that they don’t even love their partner, but still cannot go because fear is just too big!

How do you get out of this addiction? How can you avoid losing yourself in this part of the Bermuda triangle of Love? Get to know your genetic Design and follow your Strategy and Authority. Because it saves your ass so that you don’t end up and get lost in the painful Bermuda triangle of Love! 😉

And the moral of the story’?!

There is no love without self-love and self-understanding!

It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship or single – take time to really understand yourself, what is yours, what value you have, what is essential for you in life. Learn your strengths and your weaknesses. Start to distinguish who you are and where you just reflect other people in your openness, what so often drives you to so much pain and confusion.

If you want me to guide you a bit here, then get here your FREE Human Design Chart! Discover if you are a Generator, Projector, Manifestor, or Reflector. Discover what your Authority in life is! Is it the voice of your gut? Your feelings? Your intuition? Or even your willpower? We all are so profoundly different and so uniquely beautiful. The problem is that most people don’t often enjoy living this uniqueness, because they are totally caught in their mind and the patterns of their open centers.

Start to really love yourself with all your imperfections. When you begin to understand yourself better, then it leads to more compassion, love, and respect for yourself. And when we cultivate and feed these qualities in the relationship with ourselves, then these qualities can also sprout in a love relationship and basically in every form of relationship!

Aloha,

Angelina Fabian